​

Selfishladies is a framework developed by Kim Sarembock Grevler to help women understand and manage their self doubt and anxiety and turn it into positive change and self motivated action. Women, for many reasons, are socialized to put the needs of others before their own as a means of developing their self worth. This is ass-backwards and selfishladies is here to correct it. We do not build confidence or a sense of self when our focus is on the other. When others’ needs come before my own, I lose the ability to identify and tap into my needs, which creates a tremendous amount of doubt and confusion in the system, which then manifests in anxiety and lack of confidence. It promotes dependence and indecision and indirectness – variables that prohibit confidence and security. So we must unlearn this by first recognizing the greatest paradox of all – that putting my needs first allows me to build my confidence and present a better version of myself to the world and to those I care about. Being selfish is NOT something to be judged or shamed, but rather, an empowering mindset that will result in meaningful connections with others.

To do this, the selfishladies model is simple: boundaries, negative thoughts, and self validation. To be selfish and confident, I need to have boundaries, to set boundaries, I need to understand the thoughts that make me minimize and devalue myself and needs, and to address those thoughts I need to learn a language of self validation and compassion. This framework is taught to my clients by me in private sessions, it is written about in detail on my blog and instagram, and will hopefully, in time, be available as a certification course for women to learn for themselves or teach to others.